Week of 8/21/17: How to Commit the Perfect Crime

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Aug 25, 2017.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    My favorite eclipse picture… I spent the time deep inside ER learning up close and personally what a Baker’s Cyst is. I, of course, during my ordeal got on social media to share my travails with the world. In ER, I requested the whole hospital form a prayer Circle of Concern around me. Alas, no interest, other than with the social media. I was overwhelmed with prayers from the denizens of social media. As I laid there, I could not help but imagine how nice having a sickness named after you: Doctor Alzheimer, Lou Gehring--social media would absolutely eat this up!

    BREAKING! STOP THE PRESSES!
    An early Black Friday for me! Roving bands of Lard Asses are on the move for water rather than towels and TVs: Hurricane Harvey Hysteria: Customers Fight as Stores Sell out of Water… (Stock tip: such huge box stores as Home Depot have too many stores all over for one event such as hurricane to move the revenue). As I heroically fight my Baker’s Cyst, I so want some fresh Lard Ass Mall Mauls! Puh-leaze, oh, puh-leaze, I want some bloody, fighting hysteria! Social media ride to the rescue in my epic struggle—pray for mall mauls!

    Sadly, Cramer is off this Friday suffering from a severe case of Swoon. He is being treated at the Nowhither Medical Center in Georgia: Tue, Cramer got to turbo swoon over his idol Marc Benioff of Sales Force; then Thurs, he did a great segment over Walmart-Google vs. Amazon. My utterly useless two-cents is the big deal will be when Trump starts using the Justice Department as did Obama: here, Trump plays his anti-trust card against Amazon, whose Chief Operating Lizard is, of course, anti-trump with Bezos owning the Washington Post—May I suggest this Justice Department attack begin after Labor Day from the two Ark. Senators, home of Walmart…. Anyway, hopefully, our boy Cramer will be de-swooned enough for his Monday show…. The super-secret Nowhither Hospital’s Swoon Treatment Center is regularly used by CNBC, particularly after an appearance by the Sage of Omaha. May we call upon social media to pray for Cramer and soon Becky Quinn with her upcoming Warren Buffett Swoon? Spoiler Alert: the Omaha Sage will reveal if you only have a billion dollars, stick with index funds, avoid gold, and he will hint at his dislike of Trump. "Becky, a billion dollars will only buy you some no name Washington Lizard." Becky will drop to her knees to lick the Sage's loafers for his blinding insights of the obvious, then she will be rushed off to the Swoon Center....

    We live in a surveillance state. Accept it. There are more than 2,300 security cameras in Manhattan. At least 10,000 in Chicago (Reference) -- I assume I am being recorded in some form at all times—being a nobody, a peon, or Pawn can still make me become a poster child for the Lizards and hypocrites of the 24-hr news cycle…. The perfect crime is perfect because no one else knows about it....

    1. The law can and will LEGALLY lie and BS—Major corporation can simply plain lie, or practice legal bullying and overwhelming
    2. Terry vs. Ohio (1968): understanding what constitutes a legal search, e.g., warrantless searches, etc. Also note Smith vs. Ohio
    3. The prisoner's dilemma cannot work on you IF you have stayed under the radar
    4. Avoid leaking unnecessary DNA, pictures, etc.,—thankfully, being an Introvert avoiding social media is easy—Credit card and bank use leak info ….
    5. Other than with Hillary Clinton, signing something can become a mine field by showing key dates and timesFame is the get out of jail free card, ditto, being a Wall Street, Washington, or Silicon Valley “Lizard”—but, but, but understand occasionally someone may have to be sacrificed to calm the Pawns, Trumpsters, small business folks, e.g., Martha Steward, etc.—“Noise” can make you a target—again, silence (being invisible) is golden—Avoid being the example!
    6. Hide items in plain sight for maximum legal contamination –for example, the busy street at the busiest times so the suspected item will be covered a huge amount of other DNA and fingerprints of others, but watch being recorded doing this—Remember, items thrown into the river will bloat and float—as well as have secret identification, such as VIN numbers on your vehicle are hidden on parts—burning/exploding a car only successfully work in the movies—The most effective way of getting rid evidence is contamination by hiding X in a busy area…
    7. Deleting” on the internet actually only means the header is deleted, so the context remains somewhere lurking for discovering (see one above)
    8. De-Google/Bing
    9. First sign of trouble: “lawyer up” like the “Lizards”! Say nothing, sign nothing without a lawyer—but be 24/7 polite, so when what is recorded is shown to a jury you come across as at least one of the jurors, e.g., OJ Simpson—Accept we Pawns can only avoid the “Better Call Saul” lawyers, but still you want a lawyer to be as mean as a “junk yard dog” type lawyer—which the other side will have droves…
    10. Practice “Lizardry” or become a “Lizard Lackey”: become a loud mouth lout and hypocrite on being anti-Trump, etc.—Thankfully, you will never have to walk your holier-than-thou chatter…
     
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