Week of 8/114/17: A delicious week for cynics

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Aug 18, 2017.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    What a fun week this has been for a cynical, atheist, Trumpist (me)! I swear though I may soon have to believe in god, for s/he has been so bountiful this week with pure insanity!
    Next week should be even more fun. Along with the usual holier-than-thou Wall Street/Washington/Silicon Valley “Lizards,” we will have an eclipse—with the best viewing in of all places, at the digs of “The Sleeping Prophet,” Edgar Cayce, where he was fortunately born. We should have burned out eyes, little green creatures showing up, etc. to blame on Trump/Putin/Illuminati —THANK YOU, GOD, for planting this delicious joke for now…

    Why we are mentally abused with 6-week news cycles
    The 24-hour News Meme is gearing up to blame Trump/Putin/Illuminati for the medical injuries from otherwise sane idiots who will suffer eye injuries watching the Aug 21st eclipse…”Trump should have gone to the houses of idiots to make sure these imbeciles watched the eclipse on the internet,” said Al Gore. “Trump and Putin are so, so guilty—and this is backed up by a consensus of scientist, too!”
    Anxiety/Hysteria Addiction
    Drug companies are working on a prescription drug, so news addicts may still watch the 24-hour news meme: “Just as we want a prescription drug for being a lard ass so they junk food binge, not exercise, smoke and drink and buy lottery taxes,so should we have an expensive prescription drug that will allow the increasing Duffus Class to have even less to be responsible for. "It is irresponsible to suggest to these imbeciles to disengage, then get a real life,” said a spokesman for the Expensive Drug Prescription, Asc. "Clearly, there is a Trump/Putin/Illuminati connection"...
    When is stress good for you?
    Hair on fire, the sky is falling, Trump/Putin/Illuminati equal Good Health, because bad health in the current “1984” world is Good Health (Remember in the book the consensus of scientist was two plus two equaled five)…

    Tools to use to be an Idiot Savant on the news and social media:
    Reductio ad Hitlerum
    Godwin’s Law
    But, sadly,
    Alas, when the satellite trucks and hot heads and hypocrites move on to the next non-event: how frivolous today’s hot news is after a year… Did any of this make me healthier, wealthier, or happier?

    Misc.:
    • My utterly, useless 2-cents on Bitcoin Investing: until gramps and grandma use bitcoin as easily as cash or a credit card, then investing in anything to do with cyber-pseudo-currency is investing in a bubble made up of a lot crooks…
    • Netflix Beat:“Betting on Zero” documentary about Herbalife has shots of our boy Cramer—Old viewers of "Mad Money" might remember when our boy loved Herbalife as much as he now does Salesforce— Back then, Cramer could not get enough of Herbalife (after watching this docu, go to YouTube to find some clips of Cramer ass-kissing the Chief Operating Lizard of Herbalife) -- An excellent way to practice your logic are the episodes of "Air Disasters" on Netflix
    Join me in the week ahead, because it will be so delicious, and now I see a tropical storm is brewing--Trump and Putin just will-not stop shaking things up! :)

    Watch your wallet--the Wall Street Lizards will be out and about!
     
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