Week of 6/26/17

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Jun 30, 2017.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    Cramer is on vacation, so "Mad Money" are generic shows...

    A God Shout-Out: Congress is on vacation again—they Will Have 218 Days Off In 2017—Actually, this is good for us Pawns when they these Lizards scurry, because they are so freaking loathsome and poisonous! HEY, CONGRESS, SOLVE OBAMA CARE BY GIVING US PAWNS CONGRESS CARE! I would love your health insurance….. One reason drug prices continue to skyrocket….
    • Chocolate Milk comes from brown cows
    • For Good Luck, a growing fad is hurling coins into jet engines as passengers board a flight…Commercial pilots are not amused, however…. Damn Trump and those dastardly, conniving Russkies….
    • Walmart Store 292 in Nowhither, Georgia, is slated to become the next Our Lady of Lourdes after yet another miracle…. “Suck on this, Bezos,” yelled Walmart’s Chief Operating Lizard…. One HUGE fan of the new Walmart….
    • Thankfully, Apple’s Chief Operating Lizard got enough of a pay raise not to be so gosh darn shamed when with his fellow Chief Operating Lizards: Apple’s Cook Reaped $145 Million Last Year
    • Sad news among the Lizard class: Queen Elizabeth II gets ONLY a 78% raise to $97 million a year…. Teens across the UK are stepping up though with weekend “bikini & jockstrap” car washes to raise money to help their queen to have more vacations from vacations: “Many folks simply slowly drive buy, then stop to feed us money to watch us,” said one teen queen fan, who wants to be a pole dancer in Netflix made movies….
    • On CNBC’s new series “’Fessing Up,” Netflix’s Chief Operating Lizard fessed-up his streaming service buys its content by the ton from Waste Management: “We have found we get just the right amount of okay-to-dross ratio to make the arrangement okay, because binge watching is, well, binge watching, so okay is okay.” ... Worth a watch is the Netflix series on OJ Simpson—Long ago, I stopped watching the Main Stream Meme Spew, so I only know of the name of Kardashian, but I now know (and cannot un-know) how this all started…. The backstory seems fair, and the actors are spot-on….
    • POTUS Trump’s desire to privatize the government’s ACRONYM and Mission Statement agencies naturally lacks broad bi-partisan support—“Term Clutter hides well,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. Both Democrat Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton said they can agree on that, because cutting down Acronyms and Mission Statement bodes ill for our children....
    • Pentagon officials feel a sense of relief after seeing North Korea’s latest fighters when military officials learned North Korea’s rambunctious man-boy Kim Jong Un hopes to “invade” America by Christmas by teaming up with Ulta Salon to bring the “Kimmy Look” to America…. Mattel is already gearing up for a line “Kimmy” dolls to augment the company’s “Ken & Barbie” dolls by the next Christmas season…. “The man-lad look and feel look is definitely the next in-thing for America,” said Mattel’s Chief Operating Lizard. "Kimmy will be a warm, fuzzy, yet male-ly transgender
    Retiring Extremely Okay
    Misc Information

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