Week of 12/4/17: Conspiracy Appreciation 1-0-1

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Dec 8, 2017.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    I love a good Conspiracy Theory (CT), as I do any art form. If I find a new and improved Kennedy Assassination CT, or Moon Landing CT, or 9/11, I am good-to-go on watching. A well-done CT will weave me into the Bat Sh*t Crazy BS, as any well-done art form. The basics are as follows:
    • Begin with a huge, UNEXPECTED event (a Black Swan) that, that the social media will hook into, then explode—for good, or bad: irrational exuberance, or irrational hatred
    • This, combined with the confusion of the moment, kicks in 6 Degrees of Separations: e.g., x KNEW y AND y WAS AT L! (Example)
    • Correlation does not mean X and Y to be actually connected, but the news media/social medial are satisfied with “implied” — If a drug company does this with a new drug, then this is both illegal and dangerous; that is, a Drug must affect a well-defined Stages—why billions of dollars and steps are needed to bring a drug to market—A good story by a Chief Operating Lizard on “Mad Money” does not equal $ucce$$...
    • Ignore Randomness, for there has to be a reason—The public is easily fooled by randomness— With 7B people, sheer randomness works more often than not
    • Woo Woo science and slippery math can be groomed to fit The Conspiracy: for example, Fibonacci Numbers sounds more credible than abracadabra—Results and data can be correct, but the results are not appropriate for the point being made…Hindsight is more 20/20 than foresight…Therefore, predicting (time stamping an event in the future) depends on the wrong previous predictions being ignored, which is possible with the constant spewing out of BS by prognosticators on, say, CNBC….Why was no plane wreckage found at the Pentagon 9/11? Oh, heck, hm, maybe, say, load a huge, thin aluminum can with high octane fuel, then crash the plane into fortress Pentagon and be dah‑mystified…Woo Woo: There was no aircraft debris found at the Pentagon 9/11, very suspicious, right? WRONG!
    • Consider the vast number of “little people” who must do the grunt work of a CT: for example, the “Fake Moon Landing.” Such boring things as commodes had to be cleaned at the massive studio. Artiste are not going to clean the commodes at the huge, elaborate film studios. Janitors never saw anything? No one had a “come to Jesus” moment? None of these moments with the Kennedy Assassination? Even big shots have these "Jesus" moments at their deaths. Be highly suspicious when there are no leakers at “the moon landing fakery”!
    • Establish the Money Trails IF you give a sh*t about an event —ALWAYS know the Money Trails before joining the latest ginned up Lynch Mob! Who is profiting?! TIP: a Money Trail can be indirect, such as, being elected/reelected
    • Pareidolia areas of our brain will find the necessary imagery, such as finding Jesus on toast, or in the clouds, or shadowy people at the scene, such as the famous “grassy knoll” in Dallas, or the face on Mars…. Still more: evidence of an ancient war on Mars
    • Here on the Mothership, we have Mirages—shimmering water on the highway, or desert… A "Fata Morgana” can produce a city in the sky, plus some camera trickery helps, of course, to make X go viral….
    • Deus ex Machina Resources: the Mafia, C.I.A., Trump, Putin, Illuminati, UFOs, Area 51… Say this to conjure up all kinds of preconceived notions to build upon—THERE HAS TO BE REASON! Unfortunately, more often than not, no, there does not have to be reason other than Money Trails and sheer Ego Trips… To affect our 2016 election to the degree allege, then Trump and Putin had to have worn black leather and been super villains to turnaround 3,000 plus voting precincts.... Trump and Putin even with the help of the evil Illuminati League have limits
    • AVOID “SH*T JUST HAPPENS,” i.e., Murphy’s Law—Nothing can just happen in a CT! The earth only has around 7B people for Murphy’s Law to come together—IGNORE THE SHEER STUPIDITY RESULTING FROM COMPLEXITY, e.g., tax code, cryptocurrency, Obama Care, etc.—to repair a mess, add more mess—Only in the real world do “I” and “you” have to start over! This is not the case in the Big Time where money flows like BS…
    • Ignore the Peter Principle: “THE PROUDLY STUPID OFTEN OOZE TO THE TOP ENOUGH TO EFF-UP SOMETHING,” particularly with 7B people
    • GOOD LUCK CAN BE BAD LUCK; that is, being in the right place at the right time with the right whatever can be Awful Luck, e.g., Oswald could not have fired his weapon fast enough, or accurate enough. Steve Jobs could not have come up with the iPhone. Edison, the light bulb, etc.
    • “Buy Apple, don’t trade Apple!” Cramer often yells. Let’s though follow the pal of Warren Buffett, Mr. Charlie Munger, and flip things to the following: “Trade Apple, don’t buy Apple.” That is, let’s argue this BEFORE following Cramer. Let’s use some of the things previously mentioned, as well as other things we find. Let’s go with the result of buying or selling Apple with what EACH of us find. With the Moon Landing flag doing or not doing something to prove the falsity of the landing, let’s flip the thesis to argue the opposite, then buy into the stronger argument. Let’s research Oswald could have fired as fast as Warren Commission found. Always argue the other side before into something!
    • Falsifiability is a baseline: what would it take to prove the earth is flat? Okay, then Why do I see a horizon at the beach or in the desert? Einstein continues to be the Big Man on Campus, because knowing what it would take to prove him wrong, has not been found, e.g., nothing can travel faster than light…. To argue against this, remember Carl Sagan's quote: "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."

      In sum, I am a huge, huge fan of Conspiracy Theories; but as with a super magician (or any other artiste), I like to know how something is done to better appreciate the performance…

      Gifts of SCHADENFREUDE IS IN THE AIR
    Dear Santa:

    I have been a good lad this year (no longer as much groping as I would have liked). Would you help Mr. Wike Leaks, or another hacker, to get this here list. I am kinda bored with groping and soon the news media will also be.
    I will leave you some gluten free water and gluten free cookies if you do bring us this list. Love you

    P.S., remember all the animals who need love
    P.P.S., please don't sell Rudolph to Hormel, even though I know he is old
     

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