Week of 10/16/17: May I Introduce the NEW energy drink: "Bombay"

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Oct 20, 2017.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    Another super week--THANK YOU, GOD!
    • Game Theory & the NFL: football jocks might consider killing the ratings of pro football will LOWER future juicy contracts, unless the billionaire Lizards owning the teams are willing to treat their jocks as loss leaders—Too, these Lizards might be fearful taxpayers of the NFL teams being less incline to have tax dollars pay for stadiums…
    • Another Chief Operating Lizard showing his ass
    • Netflix’s Halloween Boo-o special: "The Hilda Beast of Cesspool, D.C."
    • Halloween costume designers are in a tizzy to rush out this season’s top monster!
    • The Academy Award Association has voted to honor the actress doing the “Most Upset with Harvey” performance…. Hags & Bags, Has-beens, somewhats, never-were are rushing to be the honoree….
    • The League of Lard Ass Women Shoppers will be stalking the malls the day after Halloween for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday's Black Friday mauls to practice Black Friday Fighting over TVs and towels when midnight Halloween monsters are replaced with festive Christmas Crap…”Security will be tight, kinda,” said head of security for the Nowhither, Georgia, Walmart….
    • Are cola and beer companies in a bidding war over the new energy drink “Milo's Bombay”?
    • Is Prison’s the next fast food franchise, offering “prison chow”? For the kiddies, prison toys such as rubber shanks, candy in the shape of other weapons, washable menacing tattoos will be given…Can Milo take down Ronald M to become the next major fast food character? Wall Street Lizards are watching! Ditto, NFL players who are hinting this could be a great endorsement for the right $$$
    • Taco Bell Testing Quesadillas Filled With Kit Kats, Twix Bars—All together, along with the Chief Operating Lizard (aka, CEO): “Jim, this is all for our most important natural resource, our kids”…Wall Street Lizards will be watching to see if the big toy this Christmas season to replace the Rubik’s Cube will be the Mueller’s Trump/Putin/Illuminati transformer
    • Midnight Halloween, before going “Xmas,” retailers will pause to honor Mr. Freddy Krueger for his work on bringing shrink wrapping shrink wrap this holiday season….
    • Retiring Extremely Okay Tip: consider this BEFORE going down the Rabbit Hole of owning an RV!
    • Slow…down, my future Lizard. You must learn how to market, you could become $ucce$$ful. Being a cretin may take some time, but any Lizard Wannebes can pull it off….
    • Memo to Walmart: better buy Nostrum before Amazon swoops in
    • Eager for its Halloween Vacation Week, Congress decided this week to do another “tha hell with it” bill by unanimously passing the reconciliation bill “Obama Care Supplemental Update,” which encourages healthcare reform to make United Health, Travelers, and so on insurance companies go up against Amazon, Walmart, and Costco selling insurance—This fight should super drive down prices!
    • Trump’s “fence” now includes a “shield” to protect us from space ETs…
    • The Harvard English Department has made it official: Warren Buffett is to be spelled MISTER WARREN BUFFETT. (Bowing down and kissing his royal ass is NO longer optional.)
    • IBM excited investors this week with the introduction of “Duffus,” the proud cousin of the famed IBM “Watson.” Duffus is a quantum computer, allowing answers before the programmer can type the questions. Demonstrating this by IBM programmers, Duffus was able to write “Hello, world” before the programmer could write the question in famed Bill Gates’ beloved Visual Basic. The speed is because Duffus is “entangled” with Duffus II located 12-billion light years away.
    • Ever modest investor MISTER WARREN BUFFETT who proudly touts computers are beyond him bought another trillion shares of IBM which Duffus already had bought for him—this confused MISTER WARREN BUFFETT even more… Duffus wrote, "Wow-w" faster than MISTER WARREN BUFFETT could have a Lackey write the comment into Duffus...
    • Famed cosmologist Steven Hawkins wondered out loud about his new voice: “I think being rich and famous I shouldn’t have to sound like a damn torn-up 1984 Apple II computer, you know?!”
      Mr. Hawkins confessed he originally wanted to be a simple useful English village idiot and main cosmetologist: “I scored high on some test, so I was wheeled off to Oxford—not the Oxford Beauty school. I still deep down love hair more than freaking black holes, but, I guess it is a nice living making loot over chattering like a 1984 robot about nothing in particular.”

      Kindly remember the animals in your life -- Remember if you need a friend, so does some discarded animal, too...You two will be a match made in heaven so this would be a guarantee win for both sides...

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