Week of 1/2/17: Another Delicious Week in Amnesia

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Jan 6, 2017.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    Howdy, Hodes & Hoes & Clowns & Transgenders & Fellow Slaves and Pawns of any system that ye be a glorious part and parcel…

    Fox Offered Megyn Kelly $100 Million for Just Four Years, But She Was So Unhappy at the Network She Left Anyway…OMG! The internet will shut down for 24 hours in 2017 causing financial markets and selfie addicts to crash….OMG: Dan Rather & Brian Williams teaching ‘Truth in the News’ course at the Woowoo Washington State College….

    Thoroughly enjoyed the holidays, almost. Sad the nation was hit by the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes refusing to perform at any Trump event. Oh, my goodness, I became so distraught I paper-cut my tongue with pages from the latest People magazine. A presidential inaugural without the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes, no way, no how! Radio City Music Hall Rockettes are as synonymous with all that is good and decent as "American Pie" (the movie), Walmart, Amazon, Florida Alligator Farms and hoochy coo ladies at county fairs. Radio City Music Hall Rockettes are the je ne sais quoi of Life in the United States of Pure Amnesia….

    As a Paramnesiaist chartist here are my two Always Remember charts: (Chart # 1) and (Chart 2)...These charts track Wall Street, Washington, the EU, Moscow, and China very well...You will do okay investing as well as maintaining some semblance of sanity by having these "charts" handy when people are people...

    On the Knowledge Beat this week, I found some Wow Moments:
    • An excellent "Mind Movie"…Follow up
    • A fair look at Trump
    • Tip to Washington: I would quite baiting Trump and Putin, because you ain't seen the kinds of email that can get released, nor having the IRS and Justice Department sic't on your sorry butts....Wall Street Lizards are putting on fur lined knee pads to kiss Trump's behind, because they know they do not want the SEC sic't on their sorry hides...Oh, Washington, you might should know the Russians actually like their ballsy leader...Just some tips...
    • Emblazon in your soul The Black Swan: understand the point is it is totally unexpected, literally out of the blue….This time is different: No, no, no! Names change, but not the underlying music….Congress will settle back into a comfortable cronyism with only the winners changing…Wall Street will again do something stupid, and we Pawns will pay, and the Lizards will be rewarded with incredible bonuses, or incredibly paid to spend more time with the family--but no jail time….DON'T BE FOOLED BY RANDOMNESS….
    Finally, something nice I read in Chief Operating Lizard magazine....I know, I know, it is a total cliche, but darn-it, I found this heart warming, so there!

    "Ask a Chief Operating Lizard"
    December 2016

    Dear Editor:
    I am 23 years old.
    In June, I am going to graduate with an MBA from the Harvard Business School, and I dream of being a Lizard at GS. I do not mind getting my nose all brown by first being a GS Lackey to pay my dues. For several years, I have worked as an intern on the Killing Floor at Hormel to sharpen my "heartless" instincts. All over my dorm room I have pictures of Lloyd Blankfein. My friends though tell me that Saint Lloyd does not exist. My academic advisor says, “If you see it in COL it’s so.”
    Please tell me the truth, is there a Saint Lloyd Blankfein? Saint Lloydy, I so want to believe in this North Pole.

    Virginia O'Hanlon
    115 W. 95th St.
    New York City

    From the Desk of ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein
    Goldman, Sachs & Co.
    200 West Street, 29th Floor
    New York, NY 10282
    (Soon to be relocated next door to the Oval Office, White House)

    Dear Virginia

    Virginia, your friends are wrong, wrong, and even more wrong! They have been affected by the skepticism of a social media age.

    They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their big shot minds. All minds, Virginia, can become puffed up, particularly at Harvard, in its business school, and its MBA program. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, or her, or undecided, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole truth and knowledge.

    Yes, Virginia, there is a ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein. I exists as certainly as avarice and greed and winner take all exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life the hubris its highest chance of becoming part of the Goldman Sachs Team. Alas! How bleak would be the Hamptons if there was no ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein! It would be as dreary as if there were no penthouses atop Trump Tower--which I may hasten to add to President Trump I dearly love since moving in November 9th of last year. There would be no chance of another delicious 2008 Ka-Ching Crisis (for us), no Invisible Gnarly Hand of Capitalism, no new crisis to "mine" to make tolerable any high octane existence.

    Virginia, we should have no wealth way beyond that could become ineffable to describe, except in sense and sight and envy. The eternal light with which future GS Lackeys could become GS Lizards would be extinguished.

    Not believe in ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein! You might as well not believe in Billy "Goat" Gates, or, or, Warren "Get-Out-My-Eff'ing Yard, You g-d Little Sh*ts" Buffett.

    Virginia, you could tear apart a Bloomberg terminal and see what makes the noise inside and then be kicked out of Harvard for this, but there is a veil covering the unseen Wall Street world which not the richest men, could find beyond exploiting. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernatural beauty and glory beyond only allowed to be seen by a rare few, of which, you now can only dream of.

    Nobody just sees ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein except an exalted few, but that is no sign that there is no ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? (Strike that! For legal disclaimers we at GS love fairies dancing on any lawn, except ours--STRIKE THAT!) Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

    Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding than unspeakable wealth craftily masked by Lackeys and PR and, of course, gobs and gobs and more gobs of attorneys at law.

    No ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein! Thank God I live, and we-e live forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times thousand years from now, what we represent will continue to make glad the heart of life's winners, of which you now only see from a Hormel killing floor view, but one fine day you will relish the tall, majestic buildings of Washington, Wall Street, Upper West Side, and vaunted hills and the valleys of the Hamptons.

    Dear Virginia, dream of CNBC and the WSJ calling and hanging on your every word-fluff carefully crafted by our wondrous PR department, and cleared by an equally wondrous army of attorneys at law. You will be busy though, Virginia, stumping all your little friends who had such little faith in you, a future Mistress of the Whole, Wide Gosh Darn Wondrous Universe. You will be mining some new crisis, and becoming ever wealthier. These will be your delicious ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein Ha-Ha Moments of Lfe.

    Continued $ucce$$ & May You Be With Us on the next 2008 Ka-Ching Crisis. You may see ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein and family visiting a Hormel plant. We love watching how we get fresh meat, particularly veal! The Invisible Gnarly Hand of Capitalism rules, Virginia! May it forever be so.

    ME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein

    May we all learn to abide by this simple wisdomME MISTER Lloyd Blankfein in the week ahead, and learn to accept things as they are wired...

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