week of 1/16/17: Well, I hope you are happy?! Actually, I am

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Jan 20, 2017.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    Howdy, Hodes & Hoes & Clowns & Transgenders & Fellow Slaves and Pawns and Drones of any system that ye be a glorious part and parcel….Let's see what The Gnarly Invisible Hand of Capitalism has been up to this past week that, yes, indeed, we had to partake of, pay for (follow the money, always, fellow the $$$, buckaroos)…..We lesser mortals pick up the tabs for any $$$ shenanigans the public & private Lizards & Lackeys can concoct with their lawyers & PR whores…

    President Trump’s Inauguration Extravaganza was interrupted by a surprise joint press conference broadcast on Facebag, when both Jesus Christ, Superstar, and Albert Einstein made a surprise joint appearance to verify, yes, Earth has lurched into a parallel universe….”Up is now officially down; down, up. Right is now wrong; wrong, right. Two wrongs now make a right,” Einstein said to the world. “Everything you say, Albert, is a lie,” Jesus added….(“BUY, DON’T TRADE, TEXTBOOK PUBLISHERS! For the coming major updating,” Jim Cramer, “Mad Money,”…)
    $80,000,000,000 Man Billy “Goat” Gates had some sagacious advice for the newly minted “Richer Than Gawd” class on his new series “Billion Dollar Hoarders”: you will tend to trend to become a hoarder, so my advice is when this occurs, simply purchase either a new mansion, or city, or county, or in my case, a state, Gates (formerly Washington state)…

    Goldman Sachs has OFFICIALLY located its NYC offices into the Oval Office….
    Its Chief Operating Lizard is sporting a proud, new Kick-Ass look: !” Old Look vs. New Kick-Ass Look
    “My army of Lackeys are eager—OR BETTER BE--to put some whup-ass on Fly-Over country! We want another 2008 Ka-Ching, ASAP!”

    World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (wwe) has begun buying malls to convert to "mauls"…."In the center of a maul will be a central ring with other mini rings throughout a maul….Cabela's, the sports retailer, says: "A maul is a natural fit for us, because we can offer something Amazon and Dick's won't sell firearms--we can and will sell guns."…The Chief Operating Lizard proudly added, "What says wrestling mania like fights egged on by booze and guns?"... The mauls will be called "WrestleMania Mauls"…

    CNBC has confirmed it will be moving "Mad Money" to broadcast from the Summit, N.J., Summit Maul's center ring…."If this works out, then all the CNBC studios will be moved to this maul, and possibly others...With the turmoil of the trading floors gone, we hope to better compete with FOX business with a return to the hellish trading floors," said CNBC programming Lizard Mr. G. "T-Rex" Balls

    FOX Business's programing Lizard smirked about the proposed move: "We will one-up any CNBC move with a move to a Chicago maul, and we will have 24/7 towel sales so lard ass women can add to the 'trading floor' chaos of yester years! What could be better than gangs, guns, booze, and towel sales?!"

    Want a new conspiracy? Well, yes, I do
     
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