The Week of 12/19/16: Ho, Ho, & Who-a!

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Dec 23, 2016.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    First, may we pause and remember a hearty "thanks guys" for the print shops who right now are preparing the tax forms for a new year...We want our 1040 forms for Xmas…Thank you

    Say you were a run-of-the-mill liberal billionaire…Say for PR you felt you were not paying your fair share of taxes…Say you wanted to to walk your talk…W-what do you do, what do you do? So, so, why doesn't Mister Warren "GET OUT OF MY EF'ING, G-D YARD, YA LITTLE S**TS" Buffett and Billy "Goat" Gates pay the taxes for everyone in the bottom 50%?! Great news: $1,038,237,000 is doable, and I think everyone would consider these two having paid their fair share of taxes…..Heck, why don't the top 1% pay the 99% taxes of others so the 1% who feel guilty about not paying more taxes, could?!

    Does she, or doesn't Miley Cyrus Keeps Her Word — Leaves USA After Trump Win…. Dear God: Please, oh, purity, please consider not letting this be a publicity stunt…Love, an American….(Barbara S, ball's in your court now, out do Miley, double-dog, dare you-u!)

    HUMBUG TO GOLDMAN SACHS for buying all rights to Mr. Charles Dickens' "Christmas Carol," forcing Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge to change his name to Ebenezer Wonderful, so anyone described as being "scrooge" must now be changed to "wonderful," so, your Scrooge like boss is wonderful....

    BUT, WOW-W at the new look of Goldman Sach's Overlord & Chief Lizard's 2016 Xmas card! Last Year's card vs. This Year's--Open up the card and, BOO-YAH, out pops this hologram--DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! SEX-YEE! …"He can come down my chimney as much as he wants," said one Goldman Account Exec and Lizard Wanna-Be upon receiving his card. "I am still spending quality time with my card"....

    The Lizard Beat...

    SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE! Platinum Hedge Fund Executives Charged With $1 Billion Fraud…. Want to guess how big their bonuses will still be? Want to guess how much hard-ass jail time these Lizards will receive? (HINT: zero)… Want to guess how much back the investors will get? (HINT: at least one-cent on the dollar)….AH, THAT INVISIBLE HAND OF CAPITALISM GOTTA LOVE IT!...

    Say, you Platinum Lizards (and Lizard Wannabes) might wonder what your role model Mr. Bernie Madoff has on his night stand these days, as he prepares for his possible early release in 150 years? "I am back, frankly, gaining valuable insights from Mr. Napoleon Hill’s 1937 classic Think and Grow Rich." the 78-year old Mr. Madoff told the Invisible Hand of Capitalism…

    "Bernie, those Platinum Lizards tapped…even the terminally ill"
    "Damn! Damn! Damn! I missed doing that," Mr. Madoff told the Invisible Hand of Capitalism

    Dear Invisible Hand of Capitalism, what sort of gift would the generic Platinum Lizards like for Xmas with their current "issues"? Mr. Madoff says that Amazon Prime one-day shipping would be what he would suggest…"You can still enjoy Amazon in the hoosegow," Bernie opined…

    Bernie Madoff Term of the Week: "Dingleberry" is his term for a"get out of jail for free" powerful hiding particle that high price lawyers find for Capitalism's True Lizards…."Look, justice is pretty much what you can buy," explained Mr. Madoff. "Hell, that Lady of Justice will do a donkey in a Tijuana sex show for the right price. I am still pissed I ran out of money to buy a 'round the world from her!"

    Happy Holiday News
    The Mainstream Media is applauding the gift from the Association of Departments of English...It unveil two new words to describe all things Trump: fin de siècle and Sturm und Drang….
    "We are certainly pleased," said CNN's Chief News Lizard, "because, frankly, existential moments obviously never took the traction we would have wanted"…
    Famed balladeer Lonnie, known as the Banjo Philosopher, has the trending # 1 song this year with with "Sturmy Weather"….
    "I reckon ya could say I'm on tap to be the Woody Guthrie of The Trump Years," Lonnie told editiors of the Main Stream Media…
    Psychiatry is busy adding the new terms to its fame diagnostic handbook Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, while Amazon is rolling out for Xmas an updated Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for Dummies….
    The Department of Education is advising all educational establishments to add these terms as what justifies having a "Fit, Hissy" and will need a "Place, Safe" "flee, to"…

    Save an animal at your local Kill Shelter....Don't be a Lizard....
     

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