Research: Week of 10/10/16

Discussion in 'Off topic - humor, oddities, videos, politics' started by zyzzyva57, Oct 15, 2016.

  1. zyzzyva57

    zyzzyva57 Active Member

    Both Trump & Hillary are concerned the public is joining certain very rare introverted CEOs in simply quitting for real "to spend more time with life, just life" … "Tha hell with it" movement, a possible 3d party? Who will this help or hurt? Clinton or Trump?! Fear mounts in Washington not to have more tax dollars to waste! Pollsters see these "Tha hell @ it" as sharks waiting, waiting, waiting to "pounce vote" November 8th…

    Movie star Leonardo DiCaprio, getting off his private jet at Aspen, warned Global Warming could cause a Trump election!...
    A vociferous crowd yelled: "GO HOME! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY NOW DECLARED JUST ANOTHER TEDIOUS HYPOCRITE LIBERAL BAFFON! GO PLAY IN THE FREEWAY, PUH-LEAZE!"

    Travails of buying your first Gulfstream g650--OUCH!

    FORMER WELL FARGO CHAIRMAN AND CEO IS NOW BEING CALLED "THE PHOENIX MAN"…After the WFC board unceremoniously kicked "Pinocchio" Stumpy and his no longer growing nose "Snout" to the curbside with only a pitiful 200-million dollar going away gift, many thought Stumpy & Snout were done, but Stumpy & Snout have joined forces with Mr. Ronald McDonald in support of transclowns bathrooms for all McDonalds….
    Rumors are swirling the once famous Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills, California, has hired as a consultant Herr Dr. Victor Frankenstein of Ingolstadt, Germany, to resurrect the bodies of the bank's former CEO Mr. Milburn Drysdale, as well as his wife, Margaret, to account for certain issues involving the estate of oil baron Mr. Jed Clampett of Tennessee --

    Alpo will announce FREE pony rides at its "plants" -- Children will receive one FREE can of dog food containing the horse or pony they happily rode into a plant "entrance" …

    People who enjoy owning thick books for doorstops, as well as the fan club of the 1916 Nobel Prize in Literature Monsieur Carl Gustaf Verner von Heidenstam, are upset this year's winner is Bob Dylan: "How in hell can use you use iTunes as a doorstop," said a former Nobel fan….
    Amazon for the Xmas season has announced a new designer Kindle, the Monsieur Carl Gustaf Verner von Heidenstam...
    Jeff Bezos explained, "It will turn all text upside down in remembrance of all those tedious authors in languages other than English, such as the Swedish author Monsieur Carl Gustaf Verner von Heidenstam...
    Nobel fans of this genre tend to be both as tedious as movie star Leonardo DiCaprio and so damn pedantic they could get a freaking job on the NY Times' 'Book Review'...They love to brag about some 5,000 page book written in Ket by some freaking author Central Siberia!
    For the Nobel fan clubs, as well as Dylan fans, Amazon will be releasing an upside text edition of Dylan songs with the title of 'Blowing in the Wind" which will be titled puıʍ ǝɥʇ uı buıʍoןq ...
    Bezos said Nobel fans can soon brag about reading the "Collected Works of Mr. R. Allen Zimmerman"
    Mr. Bazos added for the Christmas season a hard cover edition will be available with extra thick paper so "Dylan's works" can now be added to the Amazon Nobel Prize in Literature "door stop" library...

    Jesus on toast (at Jim Cramer's restaurant) said his father is miffed the recent hurricane was being attributed to Global Warming, not an "Act of Gawd!"
    The toast warned early morning diners, "Making Dad mad ain't cool, and I should know!"…...

    PBS' "Antique Roadshow" NYC taping had to be shut down when rustic art appraiser Gomer saw the painting brought by a young fan that she found in a trash dump on the way to the show --
    Gomer squealed, "I would insure this painting for a billion dollars, and that could well be too conservative."

    Netflix went down, causing people to freak out having discover real life…Brad Davis of Houston said after the experience, "Real life is too damn slow! I need fast cuts with times between something happening, removed. I also need sound effects. Real life just plain sux! When I went to Walmart, I just went to Walmart. Not one villain, not one! I, I just don't get the plot line to life, ya know?"

    LGBT has a new letter! LGBT&C designation is not per se support for Hillary Clinton, but transclowns
    "The added letter is in support for Transclowns who demand South Carolina force transclown bathrooms in all public and private buildings…

    Hollywood's movie clowns have endorsed Hillary as she jumped with Joy and made Mary, yelling "I SUPPORT TRANSCLOWNS WHO JUST WANT TOILETS IN SOUTH CAROLINA!"

    Trump's New Scandal
    Donald Trump may have misused a certain Fibonacci number
    … Many believe behind the scurrilous rumor is the prime number 274,207,281 − 1, because Mr. Trump has indeed said, "A number with 22,338,618 decimal digits is too big, too big. Yea, you can be too big, and this number is too big, way, way too big!" … (You be the judge!)…

    Warren Buffett called Trump's bluff and released his fifty zillion page tax returns going back to his first in 1595 when he secretly aided Sir Peter Minuit in the purchase of Manhattan:
    "Trump read these, you damn skunk!" Buffett yelled on the CNBC special "A Visit to Buffett's Tax Warehouse" hosted by Mr. Jim Cramer
    "MY TAX RETURNS ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS!" snarled Buffett in a major throw down to Trump...

    Elan Musk hints he will have available several so called "Barbara Streisand Mars Shots" on alert for entertainment and sports stars wishing to flee if the worse happens on November 8th ….
    To ensure passengers can sleep most of the flight, movie star and "World's Most Tedious Human," Leonardo DiCaprio will (softly) rage about Global Warming, Global Chilling, and Global Something or Other...
    He will also be reading aloud, if time permits, the collected works of the 2016 Nobel Prize in Literature Mr. R. Allen Zimmerman puıʍ ǝɥʇ uı buıʍoןq, as well as the collected works of fellow Nobel winner Monsieur Carl Gustaf Verner von Heidenstam...

    Stand by, we have another week waiting in the wing! BOO-YAH!
     

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