zyzzyva57
05-20-2006, 09:56 PM
Metropolis, New York (AP) – Superman late Thursday went on one of his rare rampages, attacking the Metropolis stock exchange.
Sources indicate Superman had grown tired of the exchange allowing financier Mr. Lex Luthor corner the Kryptonite market for the Russian Mafia or other unsavory elements of Brazil, Russia, India, and China (B.R.I.C.).
The SEC is investigating CNBC’s madman tipster Mr. Jim Cramer for pumping B.R.I.C. on his nightly television show “Mad Money.”
The rumor mills on Wall Street are hinting Mr. Cramer had Kryptonite options that allowed him to cash in on Friday’s run up in the stock prices of the Kryptonite industries of the rare green element that is so fatal to Superman. It is known SEC investigators are in both Switzerland and the Cayman Islands, putting pressure on bankers about any secret accounts belonging to Mr. Cramer.
Critics of Superman have long complained the man from Krypton has become lax about stopping the finding and processing of Kryptonite.
Oil speculators are spending this weekend figuring out ways to use the Kryptonite situation as a way to make a major run up in oil prices Monday. “This could be better than another tribal warfare incident in Nigeria, or a tropical depression off the coast of Africa,” said a giggly Mr. Gordon Gekko, well known Wall Street maven.
Sources indicate Superman had grown tired of the exchange allowing financier Mr. Lex Luthor corner the Kryptonite market for the Russian Mafia or other unsavory elements of Brazil, Russia, India, and China (B.R.I.C.).
The SEC is investigating CNBC’s madman tipster Mr. Jim Cramer for pumping B.R.I.C. on his nightly television show “Mad Money.”
The rumor mills on Wall Street are hinting Mr. Cramer had Kryptonite options that allowed him to cash in on Friday’s run up in the stock prices of the Kryptonite industries of the rare green element that is so fatal to Superman. It is known SEC investigators are in both Switzerland and the Cayman Islands, putting pressure on bankers about any secret accounts belonging to Mr. Cramer.
Critics of Superman have long complained the man from Krypton has become lax about stopping the finding and processing of Kryptonite.
Oil speculators are spending this weekend figuring out ways to use the Kryptonite situation as a way to make a major run up in oil prices Monday. “This could be better than another tribal warfare incident in Nigeria, or a tropical depression off the coast of Africa,” said a giggly Mr. Gordon Gekko, well known Wall Street maven.